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Back To The Past
Does the pain weigh out the pride? ♥
Depressed + Anger = Depression of Anger....
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 9:56 PM
Just out of the whole wide world......
Why I am the one who have all this.......
It doesnt make sense you know whenever she* cries or what,
I am the one to be scolded......
She* nvr tell me anything so how the hell should I no what the hell she is thinking.....
You may say that I have no *nan ren de fong du* in me thats is fine as I am tired....
I just dun understand.......
Tyy pey, Sok Ling, SHi Min, Maybelle, Yong Le and even Angelica......
Is just dunno what to say...
Out of the blue, Angelica ask me to be quiet when no one complains about it........
I no I am noisy but.....
Tyy pey seems to be blaming me for not knowing what happen to her*...
Sok Ling, I also dunno what to say about her.........
Shi Min say I am irresponsible ????
Yong Le say why I am like that?
Maybelle just somehow I also dunno why but I think she is disastisfied with me.....
There is lot more of people that is disastisfied with me........
Sorry gurls but this is my thinking....
You all might say I think too much like what Angelica say before to me.....
I just dunno....
I feel damn confused and frustrated.....
She* won even share a damn thing with me and she rather tell somebody else.....
Isnt that frustrating.......
Bcause of this and her* ,I think my circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller.....
All bcasue of my attitude to her and I am not a gentleman ?????
Hais, it is indeed hard to keep friends ya.......
She have someone to share with.....
What about me......
Did anyone stand in my shoes and think for me......
Its already damn stressful enough for me to get in SYF and get nominated as a student leader.....
Yet all this stuff is happening to me......
I have already told all my firends before that I am not good with words...
So nvr let me explain or not you wil onli be frustrated......
SYf audition will be this Thursday and result of student leader will be this Friday......
It is hard for me you no as no one just care how I feel......
They just no that when their besties is hurt....
They will just blame me for it......
This things have been happening to me for the 2 whole donkey years.......
Why cant it just stop at a point of time.......
Of course it wont stop ......
Want to know why ?????
Bcasue everything happens especially bad stuff really a very bad stuff.........
All fingers will be point to............me
Arggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
I dun wan to miss any friends .......
Firends have laughter and fun together.........
Able to share secrets with their besties...
And help each other when in need...........
And of course having friends around to celebrate birhtdays with you.......
Shi Min's birthday is definitely the most memorable one for me......
Why......
All the friends would actually gather and discuss a suprise for her.....
It full of laughter and such.............
Enviuos is onli in my mind......
Seeing them with all the laughters they have with each other is nvr been experience by me....
You might think you have seen me with all the laughters....
But all those laughter because I am the center of the joke....
Do you think I feel good?
She* cries people care for her.....
Me, I was like an invisible wall to them.........
I will feel contented when people remember my birhtday and give me with their wishes....
It is just simple......
Feel that I am buying firends when itrest them on my birthday as they nvr have treat me.....
I seems to be foolish, am i......
I don like it that people treat me extra good bcause I and her* is together.........
I don wan to get wishes that is onli meant for me and her............
I hate it.......
I totally hate it to the core......
Why cant everyone understand it......
No matter how brave my front is, I am still weak......
There is totally no pillar of support for me.....
I just have to be a coward and be a lousy joker to keep them laughing or happy.....
Or let them make me the center of the joke..............
I am always the one seek for people to accompany me.....
There is always no one that will seek me for accompany or just to have a talk....
It is always I am the one who take the initiative tot alk to them....
They will certainly appraoached me for sth which is help....
I will help them no matter what without any intension or payback.....
You may think this post is to sound pathetic and let people care for me......
And to get more attention and be a attetion seeker like what my classmate says.....
But no,this is how I feel for my life....
Just that there is no one who will try and be in my shoes.....
They would only care for their close friends......
It....is....just....my....destiny....to....be...like...this..........
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Hello. I am a human and I'm turning older by 07 March. I love and hate everything. Do you?
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