Hey, let's just pretend
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To The Past
Does the pain weigh out the pride? ♥
How useless and hopeless I can be.....
Saturday, October 24, 2009 8:38 PM
Happy Birthday
Nasrulhaq
!
!!
!
Life has never been depressing for me this year....
Lots of problems and troubles that I have created by myself...
Sometimes I am thinking how immature I can get...
Which must be one of the key links to all my troubles...
At school...
My academics have been dropping...
Drastically that it is faster than the speed of a bullet....
In my class, I seems to be a totally irritable person....
Sometimes when I am not in class,
I think that my friends must be thinking how peaceful it is...
Whatever I say and do in class is dislike by my classmates in all ways...
Some dislike me to the core while some find me irritable...
I always says the wrong things at the wrong time....
When there is times I am suppose to be serious, I joked around...
When people is relaxing, I tend to be serious....
What wrong is with me?
At home, there will always be a scolding from my family members...
Spoil every single thing in my house...
How careless I can be...
Thought of being a good mummy boy but in the end make her angrier....
Every time I try to make things right....
It only get worst....
I start to feel even more useless after all this...
I cant seem to be successful something...
I seems to be disappointing every people in my life..
What they expect me to achieve yet I can't do it for them....
Like my mum...
I have been disappointing her countless of times..
Looking at how talented or popular my friends or other people are..
It make me totally zealous...
It always have the effect on me...
Looking at the things they have done or achieved.....
Bryan
, he can play piano well...
Juztin
, a popular guy in my school..( For me)
Ying Ying
, a smart girl who has been scoring top in my school every year...
Zi Hao
, good leadership qualities....
There's still many people that I admire....
I don't seems to fit in with every group that I hang out with...
I always seems to be left out in every conversation they have...
I just felt hopeless...
Have been thinking how my life will change once I am in Malaysia studying....
It will sure be a drastic change...
If only I can leave my memories behind and not bringing it with me...
I really hope to be given a chance...
Just a chance....
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I just don't bear to leave my friends (thinking if I really have one)
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