I am totally confused and frustrated....

I do not know wad to do....

Is my friends helping me making it from bad to worse?

I know having friends to stand up for me is a good thing...

I appreciate it...

But looking at the situation now I really do not know I should be happy or sad....

Today receive some advance present....

It is lovely....

It like one year increase by 1 one present... Sec 2 = 2. Sec 3 = 3, Sec 4 = 4.....

But it is better than no present at all....

To me, whether I have present for my birthday or not is not so important now...

I just wished that I can have my friends back...

The memories that I shared with them to be back...

It will be the greatest present I have receive ever...

I don mean to make mistakes...

It is too late to apologize...

When will your hatred end....

If I give you your present for your birthday which is tmr, will you throw it away?

I am always in the what if situation which causes me to be unable to take the first step and try..

My words have offended everyone...

My name seems to be like a curse...

Just a mention of my name for some invitation, the person will not go ....

I am not as smart as Ying Ying...

I am not as skillful as Bryan..

I am not as humorous as Denson or Yongwen...

I am also not as sociable as Mrs Goh...

Yesterday, there is a fire drill....

A major one where we have to attend to some "traumatic patients"..

I am running here and there passing message...

Den I return to the care center and try to care and help the "traumatize" patients...

I don think I manage to care for the patients....

I have make them irritated instead....

Can't stop thinking I am a failure at that point of time...

But still manage to be crazy as to cover up my feelings...

Nothing is going on smoothly for me....

Saya berasa sangat sedih kerana tidak mendapat hadiah Angel pada tahun ini...

Saya telah hancurkan persahabatan saya dengan Angel....

I don wan to type that sentence out in English as I feel that it is too shameful to be read...

I really want to be back in the past...

I want....

The tags in my tag box just make me feel terrible....

Now, I can only play with Shirleen present and turn it around and try to recall the happy memories....

Hais...