I was posted to Nanyang Polytechnic initialy.. Space and interior design... Sounds pretty cool to me... But due to some reason, I appealed...
The appeal was a success... But I dun like the course I am appealed to... I know it sound stupid.. Like if I dun like the course, why shoul I appeal for it den....
At that point of time I only want to fufil a promise and change school.... Didnt have the right state of mind to think if that course will jeopardize my whole future... Now the promise is fufilled but left m e hating myselffor making such a childish decision...
If only I am mature enough to think things in a orrect manner... If only I didnt put the silent promise of mine for her in the top of the todo list... If only I am stronger to say no and stick to me decision... If only...If only...
I find it so stupid to change a school for a girl... When it is a future I am using it to change for... Don't get misunderstood for the first sentence.. I am not changing school just because she is same school as me.... I am changing it so she and I won't be in the same school..
At times I thought I have walk out of the circle that I am being kept it.. I thought I have... In the end, I am still the weakling...
I am paranoid... Can that be cured? There was a friend of mine ( I guess we are no longer one now)... we just chat once in a while... But She find me annoying and perasan....
I am shocked when she tell me that... As I my conversations wif her never last more than 2 minutes.. The only conversations we had that last for more than two minutes is when we just met each other after so many years... After that i am a annoying person to her...
I can't think fo anything I do... Is trying to strike a conversation wif a friend that annoying? She know causes me to fear more... I aready fear in making people annoyed... I wonder what the right words can I say so I can have a nice and happy conversations...
Trust me.. I do tried not to think too much.. I reallY TRIED.. I keep on try to get postive thoughts... Really...
I am really confused... I am aware of so many things.. But how do control it? Each time I ask questions, I am afraid to the max that I will annoy the person wif questions... But then how do u strike conversations without questions? U get wad I mean?
I am so lost... I am so confused...
How am I going to cope with poly life with all these childish thoughts and worries? SOmeday I am going crazy.... Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!